Life Update and more

Hello everyone,

Its been a really long while since I posted last. I actually forgot that I had this blog. Facebook reminded me of it with their "share this memory" reminder. As soon as I read that on facebook I felt a kick in the shins.

Oh well.

So whats been going on? Well I graduated my diploma, got a job, lost a job, started my degree, almost done with my degree, went on many hikes, made new friends, moved. I'm looking forward to completing my degree in a few months. All this sounds boring right? That's because it is.

I took an English course a few months ago and one of the topics we had to write about was how we lose the child-like wonder we have about the world as we grow older. Back then I laughed at the topic. Its a silly thing to talk about. What child-like wonder? Over the years I have realized how true the essence of that topic was. The essay I wrote was pure BS. But if I was asked to write the essay again I would write it differently.

Reading back on my old posts on this blog, I get the sense of a kid that wants to be funny, liked, friendly, smart and also that this kid is someone who still "cares" about society and social thing. Over the years I have lost that part of me. I do not care anymore. I just don't. I was having a conversation with a friend of mine as we were walking down the seawall at Stanley park, about why is it that I don't care about so many things that Canadians care about and I came to a very interesting conclusion.

...

I grew up in India. A country where you will smell garbage before the smell of a flower. A country where every 4th guy is living in poverty (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Poverty_in_India). A country whose government physically cannot do anything about certain issues like corruption, overpopulation, providing sanitary pooping stalls, the littering, the dust, so on and so forth. Every Indian knows these facts. They would like to believe that someday that would change but it wont. Not unless every one of us does something about it.
So how is it like growing up in this country?

This is a train station.

This is a bus: the major mode of transportation.

 

This is a typical street. 

That is a slice of life view of a typical day for an Indian. If you are an Indian reading this, you might be saying "hey stop bashing India mofo". I am not bashing India. I am making a point. 

As someone who grew up in that environment, you accept that life. That's how you get from place to place. That what you will accept as the normal view of a street in India. Its not good or bad. Its the reality. And we are all happy. If you ever walk down a street in India and see these people, they all have a smile on their face. Why? Because that's life. Thats life for them. Thats life for us. 

Now if you take this person and plop them in a place like Vancouver, there isn't one thing this person is going to complain about. It's such a beautiful city with beautiful people. You can eat at the fanciest places. You can take the cleanest buses. You can drive down the smoothest roads. So what if your friend screwed you over at work, its not a big deal. So what if the bus sometimes smells like weed. I've smelled worse. So what if the butter chicken does not taste as good as what you're used to. Its sure as hell better than what you make. You know how when you were a kid and your mom would say "eat your vegs, you ungrateful shit. There are kids in Africa that don't get any food"? Imagine having a lived a life that's seen those kids. My life experience has taught me that there is always someone worse off than you. I have seen people have their day ruined because they saw a homeless person try to start a conversation with them. I've also seen people change buses because there was a weird smell on the bus. 

Maybe it's me, but I've stopped caring. Life will throw so much at you, you just cant keep complaining about every small thing. I love walking through a thick forest when on a hike because I feel like I'm away from all that noise. Canada is a beautiful country. The landscape, the people, the life is just amazing. But I will always be an Indian at heart. To me there is so much more beauty in the way my life in India was. I have seen kids with torn clothes on their backs but a smile on their face. I've seen a man pull a rickshaw when its 35 degrees Celsius outside while singing a Kishore Kumar song. The beauty in that is similar to the feeling you get when when you look up at the stars. The feeling that your problems are insignificant. You.. are insignificant.

Life and death

********** found in my drafts from 2011*************



People fight
People kill
People sin




I am part of the “people” i curse so much.



I fight
I kill
I sin






People fight to compete with others.
People kill others they dont like.
People sin in the name of god and call it holy.

Whats the use of doing all this if you are not going to heaven. Heaven is an illusion and so is hell.
Life is an illusion. And so is death.



I want you to try this.  I dont know what its called. Ive been doing this ever since I was a little kid. Since the time i didnt even know what it meant to be human -





Close your eyes and think of the first memory you have of your life. The very first memory.
And think about god. Think about where you are right now in life and how u got there. Think about all the times you thought that this was the best life ever. And then it got even better.

Keep your eyes closed and ‘mentally’ feel your body. The 200 pounds of meat and bones hanging from your head. The body that carries you in this world. It has served you very well till now.But how long will it bear the burden of life?  Now open your eyes, and look at your hands. Look at those fingers. Do you remember how they were when you were a kid? How soft they were? How small they were? They have served you really well up till now. But how long will they do your dirty work for you?

Keep your eyes open and think about death. Think about how your hands will decay after you die. Think about how you will not feel anything . Think about how numb you will be when you will be dead. And try to realize the truth. I cant tell you what it is. You should feel it when you do this. You will start feeling like fly on the wall in your own life. 

You should get a sense of being separate from your body.
To me this was a form of meditation.

Whenever I do this. I get a sense of being outside my body. I can actually feel myself. I can actually see my self. Maybe I am crazy. I don't know. Try it.. I mean what do you have to lose?
10 minutes of your life. The main reason I am posting this is because I want to know if anyone else out there can do this.


Lately ive been thinking a lot about death and what it would feel like. The whole universe seems pretty spontaneous. I mean pretty much every natural phenomenon can be predicted. But death is one event that can never be foretold. Unless of course you are a judge and u just sentenced a guy to be hanged till death *breaks the tip of the pen while signing on the orders*.


As some of you may know, I lost a very dear friend a few days back. But i dont want to depress you all with that stuff. But I cant help but notice how fragile the human body is.

Oopsie-daisy

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NB: I found this post as a draft in my account. I wrote it somewhere in November 11'. Enjoy. :P
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Hello Internet,

If you've been subscribed to this blog for the past few years, there is one thing you know about me.
I am not regular with my posts at all.
Heck its been like a year since I last posted. :p. I do apologize. You might be pissed, but the six of you who are actually subscribed to me don't care. So its ok. :P
Any whozles... what have I been up to... hmm lets see. I got a job... (yay!!!! i am the 99% ). what else.... that is about it.
That is about the only exciting thing that happened in the last year. Yep!
Although i was just thinking; if i was a girl, i would start talking about everything that actually happened.

**i had written a whole conversation between my imagined female self and me, but it got really weird so i cut it out. :P **

 Thank god for that y chromosome that kicked in. I didn't wanna type all of that. :P

Thats enough about me. Meanwhile, a lot has happened in the world. Let me see if i can put together a list here.

Qaddafi killed, Libya liberated, the middle east stuff, Greece almost fallen, Wiki leaks almost shut down, Japan earthquake slash nuclear disaster plus tsunami, floods and earthquakes all over Asia ( i think turkey is in asia, not quite sure), 2 doomsday scares, gas prices freaking FLYING, Steve Jobs died, Dennis Ritchie died, Jagjit Singh died, Amy Winehouse died,
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PS: I left the last paragraph incomplete because I started doing research for all the famous people that died that year. And then I believe I crashed and totally forgot about this post. :P 

First week in college & being a Vegan!!!

Yello again,

I just realized in college, while doing some English grammar questions ( thats right), that my English actually sucks!!!  I'm sitting there with another brown guy trying to do an English exercise in a class full of pretty much all Canadians...
Apparently I dont know what word is what part of speech :P. Which, for some reason, is pretty important in Business Communications.
First week in college and the tide is already high, metaphorically and literally.
Thats also the reason i wasn't able to post anything new for some time. Now that i have 6 followers i need to be more punctual with these posts. :P.
First week in any school, class, college, semester, job, house etc, is basically always the same.  You get to know the surroundings, the workplace, the people, who all have the potential to be your friends and who are to be avoided ( which never works coz life does screw with you every step of the way), then there is all the excitement and fresh oaths being taken by you to work harder (if i had a nickel for every time ive done that, I'd have $10..lol) And then there is the books buying phase. Where you try to be a smart ass, and wait to see if you really need the books, and then you end up waiting for another 2 weeks and it turns out you did need the book. And then comes the first Quiz/test/assignment. Even though you don't know anyone in class, you still don't want to be like the 60% and get a C. Thats coz now you want to start building your REP. You don't wanna be the geeky guy, but the guy who gets straight As and still manages to be popular.
Which obviously never works, for me anyway. Coz u gotta be smart both mentally and physically..

ANYWAY, thats not why I am writing this post. The reason is that i wanted to update you'll to another news.

There is no easy way to say this, so ill just say it. *clears throat*

I, Shivdev Singh S/O Harinder Singh, have become a vegetarian!!!* (conditions apply)

yes yes thats right the chicken-phading-meat-eating-machine- who- can-eat-practically-anything-that-moves is now a grass-eating-stick-chewing- meat-craving -having - withdrawal-symptoms vegan.

So if your thinking "why". Then think no more, coz i don't know it my self. Its like one day you wake up, and your brain goes like " lets screw around a bit " .... and you have an aversion to meat for a few days, and then you start craving it like  a hungry lion in the middle of a cattle ranch. WHY? because if I'm on a vegetarian diet, that does not make my fridge vegetarian. i still had eggs, ham, chicken, and what have you, in my fridge that my mom and sis eat daily. And I have to watch them.

And then one day to celebrate my sister getting her driving license, we order a pizza. Obviously its all meaty and chickeny and beefy. And one tiny little, vegetarian pizza, with spinach, zucchini etc.
And it wasn't good.
And then it hit me. I am an omnivore. God built us this way, so that we can choose what we want to eat.

And so children..... that was the story of the time i lost my head and became a vegetarian.

And now, its time for tandoori chicken with lime and chat massala..... mmmmmm :P

Being nocturnal and getting bored!!

Hey people...

Who am i kidding, m talking to just 4 people here. thats not people... thats just sad..:P

Anyway, when i made this blog i said to myself " this will be fun, just have to write abt the crap in my brain and everyone can have a good laugh". But do you know what has passed my mind in the last 9 days?

Nothing.


Its been like 2 weeks now, i think, since the last time i slept like a normal human being. At the usual 1 am or something rather than 12pm.

Do you have any idea how it is like to sleep at bloody 12pm in the afternoon every day and wakeup at 10 pm at night? The worst part is i cant do anything at night coz if i make any noise i get thrashed by mom n sis in the morning.
All i do is hog all night, watch a movie, play games, edit pics, think about writing an other post but then kick my self in the butt because i suck.

I cant even go out at night because apparently it is not safe. An auntie said  " beta dont ever go out at night, this place is full of druggists. They will lure you in and destroy your life for ever and ever " 
But seriously HOW COOL IS THAT? I'll tell you, way cooler than what I do. and besides i could probably use the excitement.
If any family member is reading this, then yes i am kidding, and no i wont go out at night... jees...:P

Since i got over with my exams ive pretty much become useless. Some of you might say, i should get a job.
Sure i'll get a job tomorrow. no problem. even though i have no previous job experience, neither do i have any previous degree, nor do i talk very well. so ya.... pretty useless.
People say there are programs for people like me all over. :P ... in college i can opt for co-op studies which is basically a job as you study. so let me try my luck there.

anyway, a few days back i went to the Vancouver aquarium had an awesome time there. I took like 300 pics there out of which about 15-20 actually came out presentable. Ive been trying to edit the remaining 270 .
between picasa and photoshop cs4 and photoshop cs5, ive edited and deleted again edited and deleted 3 times already. Maybe because ive never really used photoshop before. But it is really cool. Ya. especially for people obsessed with beauty. or fat people.
but it really gets to another level with fashion photographers, magazines, celebs etc. no one really realizes this but all or atleast most of the pictures of celebs and models you see on the net is Photoshopped.

check this video out



Its a bit sad though, but also its hilarious.
I mean if you think about it now, there are so many celebs who "were" pretty but are now ugy..:P how do we know its not the photographers screwing with them?
Like Britney spears. how do we know that she was never actually pretty? how do i know that she wasnt the ugly lump of lard - flabby arms bla bla bla person that she is now?

it really screws with your head...

Any way i dont care. As long as i get to make fun of people, im cool. :D

jab we met ? or When we met or Jab ham mille?

hey all... me again.

you know the best thing about being in a foreign land is that you get to meet people from all walks of life and that too from the four corners of the world. well technically the world is round but let the blonds figure that one out.

And the first thing i realized after meeting some of them is that they are so very proud of their culture, their language in particular.

I mean you'd think that you would hear at least one English word that from them, like a place or something. Not that its scary that I dont know what they are talking about, but just beats the crap outa me. BTW it is scary.

But thats besides the point.

I realized it after meeting some people here, rather eavesdropping on some other immigrants speaking in a foreign language just to get a hint about the topic of discussion. ya i know thats rude, what are u gonna do? nothing.... i thought so.

Anyway, i met an Afghanistani elderly man on the bus the other day, who spoke with me in perfect urdu, complaining to me for some reason, about how the Muslims in Vancouver have lost touch with their origins, their language and concern themselves with "evil" things. And then he went into details which I really dont want to get into right now. lets just say, "all Americans will burn in hell."

And one thing i got from that conversation was that he was speaking in perfect urdu, that is to say that he did not use a single English word except for names of people, presidents and supermarkets. Although i didnt understand most of it, but it felt nice to talk to someone and know that all the other bastards didnt know we were bitching about them.

Then that made me realize that most of us Hindi/Punjabi speaking population dont really speak the language, we speak an amalgamated version of it. If you grab any teen from Delhi and ask him a simple question, the answer will be in Hinglish. you want proof? watch mtv or vh1 or what have you.

That is also true for Chandigarh's, Punjabi speaking, teen. For proof well... take my word for it.

And honestly it seems like an insult to the language. And i know many people my sister included, used to say just before moving to Punjab that " ugh, ill have to deal with Punjabi. oh god it sounds so illiterate. now I'm going to put some makeup on and dance around a little" scratch that last bit.

But i know many people are somewhat ashamed of it. somehow they feel that they will not blend in with the western culture.

But im not concerned with that, my main problem is that teens are neither speaking Hindi or English. Its like they are 'stuck' in the middle of a bridge, and instead of going either way, they have opened up a beach house there, and everyone is invited.

And the worst part is that most dont know either language to a respectable level. While the idea of developing a new language because you dont know the local language, seems ingenious, it really is stupid.

I was talking to my sister the other day and we made a deal that we would not talk in Hinglish. In fact we would speak only in Hindi.

2 sentences later we made a list of English words we need to find Hindi equivalents of.

If you want more examples, watch Japanese anime. they really screw with you.

Most of you (Abhay, Deepak) will point fingers at me and say that i myself dont know Punjabi. but atleast i admit it. and dont speak Pun-lish or Eng-abi or whatever. but really i am making an effort to learn Punjabi.

well thats that......

Tell you what, the next time you talk to your friends in Hindi, try to count the number of English words you used. you'll know what i'm talking about.

Ill leave with you this video. just watch the first 2 min. Rest is kinda stupid and anti India.

Just to be clear, i dont like this guy. He's a schizophrenic who managed to get a following.

I just like the urdu.

I'm just making a point..... :P

Plight of the Army kid.

yo all.....

my second post today. man i'm on a roll ...:P

okay so i was thinking about all the times ive been asked by my fellow Punjabiz...

" bai tera pind keda?"

and ive always been tongue tied in such situations.

its pretty embarrassing for a 'punjabi' to not know his pind. its suppose to be a matter of pride and what not.

For the people who know me wont bother reading this coz they know that im a lousy punjabi. ive stayed in punjab for 2 yrs... 3 yrs in chandimandir dont count. and i learned my punjabi at the tender age of 16...:P.. that too only reading and writing.

still not learnt how to speak.

dont judge me.... it is not easy for a person who has stayed all over india.... without a punjabi in sight.

my nanaji was in the indian navy. and sure enough my mom had a tough time learning punjabi as well... she tells me she learned how to speak punjabi only after marriage.

now back to me.

so i was trying to figure it out one day and i remember i messed my self up so bad..:P

thats when i realized my grandparents (both nanaji naniji & dadaji daddiji) are from pakistan.

that makes my parents pakistani....

that makes me pakistani.

i flipped out crazy that day.

but what really baked my noodle was that i was born in shillong... mom in kerela.... dad in punjab... sis in mumbai..... damit... i cant catch a break..

so after all this brainfarting.... i figured out a perfect answer for the curious....

whats my pind?

im from India.

:D